Ape & Me


Joshua R Parker

These thoughts just fell out of my head

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Ha! I saw that, and was curious where the query letter had originated...

Sadly it is far easier to do everything wrong than do most things right. I'm really happy that the majority seem to be amused. It's really nice to read that it brightened a complete stranger's day.

That letter was great. The uncertainty of the people replying on Scalzi's blog makes it wonderful.

The ones that really get me are in the "written too well to real" camp. I'm kind of surprised.

I also like the person who took the "youth" of the author to mean I actually was that young.

You know me. Just trying to get others to smile.

Thank you very much.

I cannot express how tempted I am to reveal this info in the comment thread, but it would totally spoil the joke.

I'm really disappointed the precis does not include the lesbian vampire kickboxers that so obviously must be part of this masterpiece.

Are you sure you don't want to save those in reserve for book two of the trilogy?

Nah. Book two is set as STARSHIP BLOOPERS, and is 2000 years in the future.

Hilarious, dude. It's way more amusing knowing the person who wrote it.

I was hoping you'd like it.

Like John Scalzi said in his blog, "it's not funny because it's satire, it's funny because it's *all too true*". I actually find that more terrifying than funny, but that's what a BA in English Lit will do to you.


As a fellow degree holder, I agree with you.

When I was a college student lo these many years ago, I arrived early one day for one of my (non-English-related) classes. Written on the blackboard in large capital letters were the words "subject/verb agreement". I asked the TA if it was a remedial or ESL class. She said no; she actually had students in her regular freshman English class who'd never had to write a paper in their lives until they got to her class! So yeah, I actually didn't realize at first that the "cover letter" you wrote was a satire, I was truly and honestly afraid that it was real.



Congrats to you and John. You had me. Thought it was real. Because I've really written real query letters like that, really.

The bad thing is that I now can't _actually_ send it to editors.

The query letter made me day. It was very, very funny. I'm glad that it made it on Scalzi's blog -- and I'm glad to know who wrote it. :-)

Good luck with your move, btw! Once that's done, back to writing! *smile*

Thanks, I'm really glad to have contributed to the making of your day!

I think *my* ultimate bad query letter is better (but I'm probably biased)


Wow. Not sure I could have done that to the English language. Well played.

Dropping in courtesy of Mr. Scalzi.

Well done, sir.

I’ve been into blogging for quite some time and this is definitely a great post.Cheers!

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