Today has been odd. It resulted in a post and thread over at John Scalzi's blog Whatever.
Since I've been commuting to work for the last six months, I haven't been writing very much. My friends and family have understood this decision, with a corresponding threat that I WILL be writing once my wife and I move. We now have a house that's under contract, so I have a month or less before I once again force butt to chair and use brain meats and the English language to try and entertain others.
One of those friends also works at Subterranean Press, and mentioned that she would almost prefer the first thing I wrote to be so bad she could light it on fire in front of me and make me watch it burn. In response I took a half hour out of my Saturday and wrote a fake query letter. She thought it was funny, and on a lark showed it to our boss.
Bill also enjoyed it, to the point where he considered putting it in the SubPress newsletter. Before that could happen, he showed it to John. Since I was not involved in this exchange, I'm not 100% sure how this turned into a Whatever entry. What I do know is that the comments are entertaining as all hell.
If you have yet to head over and check out the link, a couple of things. One, please don't spoil the joke. I'm enough of an egotist that I want more than three people to know I originated the thing, and that it is intended as satire, but I'm interested to let the debate just hang there until John grows tired of it. Two, please know that I was not making fun of anyone in particular, just bad writing and horrible ideas in a general sense. This started as something to entertain a couple of my friends, and just kind of took off from there.
Most of the comments there are great, and it's wonderful to know that I helped make a lot of people laugh. The ones that question John's decision to post the letter are weird to me, since that is absolutely not the kind of thing he would do to some poor newbie. Anyway, I hope you all can see this the way it was intended.
And no, I have not written the actual submission to go with it. I might be willing to for the right price, however...